Planning a party is hard work
by Scorch-X
Summary: In an act of stupidity, the author forgets that it's Sarah's birthday, so he conscripts Ron, Harry, Neville and Draco to help him plan a birthday party, but Lord Voldemort has other plans. Rated T to be safe. Insanity fic


Planning a party is hard work

By Scorch-X

Chapter 1: Sarah's birthday is coming up

It was a pleasant evening in Hogsmeade, with a large number of patrons in the Three Broomsticks. Harry and Ron were enjoying a rare break from their work as aurors when the story's author Rick Hunter ran into the pub.

"Harry! Ron! Guys, I need your help!" Rick said

"What's happened this time?" Harry asked, "Bogart in the cupboard?"

"No, even worse then that?" Rick replied

"Has You-Know-Who risen from the dead?" Ron asked

"I'm not dead yet asshole!" Voldemort yelled from the other end of the pub.

"Nah, it's even worse then that." Rick said

"What could be worse then me?" Voldemort asked

"I forgot it's Sarah's birthday, she's 21 in two days, and I forgot to plan the party." Rick said

"Is that all?" Harry asked

"That's pathetic Hunter." Voldemort said, "No 20 year old witch can be worse then me. But then again, you're a muggle, and anything magical is enough to scare muggles senseless." Voldemort's mouth continued to move, but his voice had suddenly gone. Voldemort stopped, and glanced at Rick.

"Maybe so Tommy, but I'm also the guy writing this story, and if you want your voice back, you'll bow to me, and behave yourself." Rick said. Voldemort's eyes narrowed in anger, and he pulled out his wand, and aimed at Rick, trying to silently cast Avada Kadavra, but his wand had suddenly transformed into a liquorice wand. Voldemort then save Rick the finger, and walked away.

"Come on guys, I need your help, as much as possible." Rick said

"We're busy." Harry said

"How would you like, in the next story I'm writing to be accidentally transformed into a girl, and fall pregnant." Rick asked. Ron and Harry looked horrified.

"You wouldn't!" Ron said

"Try me Veronica and Harriet." Rick threatened.

"I guess we have no choice." Ron said, "Who is Sarah anyway."

"She's a character in a story I wrote, descendent from Ravenclaw." Rick said

"Okay, save the author of this story from a pissed off original character." Harry said

"You know, I think I've read this story before." Ron said

"That was Final Fantasy 7, and it may have been inspiration for this story." Rick admitted

"Okay, okay, what does Sarah like?" Harry asked

"She likes you Harry. Hey, you could strip for her." Rick suggested

"No friggin way!" Harry said, "I'm not stripping for anyone. I don't care what you do to me, I won't do it."

"What about Draco Malfoy?" a voice asked, and Neville appeared

"Malfoy?" Ron asked, "Get real."

"No, he's very suggestible, especially when money's involved, we could dress him up like Harry, dye his hair black and give him glasses and a fake scar." Rick said, "That might fool Sarah." When Ron and Harry looked at him in a you gotta be kidding way, Rick added, "If she was drunk."

"Okay, I could get Ginny, Hermione and Luna to have a few drinks with her, Hermione could use a refilling charm on Sarah's drink, and when Sarah's had a few drinks, we bring out Malfoy." Neville said

"Good idea." Rick said, apparating to the Hogs Head, where Malfoy and Pansy were enjoying a peaceful drink. Harry and the guys appeared a few seconds later.

"How the heck did you do that?" Ron asked, "I thought you were a muggle."

"The clueless sidekick strikes again. I'm the author, I can do whatever I want remember." Rick said in a weary tone. Working with Ron was stressful. Walking over to Malfoy, Rick took a seat.

"Malfoy, I need to ask you for some help." Rick said

"What's wrong Hunter?" Malfoy asked

"Ineedyoutobeastripperatsarah'sbirthday?" Rick said quickly

"What the hell? Beast ripper is gay?" Malfoy asked

"Whose Beast ripper?" Pansy asked

"No, I need you to be a stripper at Sarah's birthday." Rick said

"I know you, how much are you willing to pay me?" Malfoy asked, "Every time you ask me to do something stupid and I refuse, you name a price and I do it, against my better judgement."

"250 galleons." Rick said

"Is that all?" Malfoy asked

"There is a recession on at the moment." Rick replied

"But this is a story, not reality. 500 at least." Malfoy said

"Fine." Rick said, conjuring up 500 galleons, "You'd better put that into your vault."

"Sure." Malfoy said, apparating with Pansy

"Why do you want him to put it right into his vault?" Harry asked

"So the pointy faced prat dosn't realise I only gave him 250 galleons and 250 in leprechaun gold." Rick laughed

End of Chapter 1


End file.
